Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a 30 page booklet...

Question: What do Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a 30 page booklet have in common?

Answer: We don't deal with them in the same way we do normal reality; we can talk about them and have a mental image, but we can't hold them. I hate to be blunt...they don't exist. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are too metaphysical for this blog, but the booklet is fair game.

Simply, a booklet like this is printed four pages at a time (or in multiples of four). The total number of pages must be divisible by four. That rules out three, five, six, seven, nine, ten, etc. Including 30.

Here's a short list of other things with dubious existence:

20 pound gloss paper. Bond paper comes in 20, 24, 28, and 32 pound weights. Gloss paper comes in 60, 70, 80, and 100. Plain old book paper, equivalent to bond, comes in 50, 60, and 70. The best way to keep all this straight is to refer to swatchbooks. If you need some let me know...I'll fix you up.

Proof copies that are marked "OK to print as is" with a list of changes which are required. Like pregnancy, you either is or you ain't ready to print "as is". If changes are required be sure to know who will approve them, bearing in mind that if you decline to see another proof YOU are still responsible if anything goes wrong.

Blueline proofs. This terminology is obsolete. The modern proof comes from a computer driven plotter, and is much easier to understand. These new proofs, and the platemaking technology that follows, require no film or chemistry and are more environmentally friendly than the bluelines they replace.

Ads for which print quality doesn't matter. At proof stage people tend to be dismissive about whether ads look OK when quality issues arise. "It's all they have" or "I'm sure it'll be fine" are easy to say when looking at the proof, but remember whose signature is on the approval slip. Friendly advertisers can become very fickle when disappointed, and may see you as a convenient scapegoat for their poor quality artwork.

The fun-to-use onscreen color picker! For projects going to print, a color defined in an image or layout by means of the onscreen color picker is about as dependable as books which help pick lottery numbers. It might be a winner...or it might not. You have no way to know. Buy, beg, borrow, or steal a Pantone (or similar) guide.

Camera-ready copy. Another antiquated term. It's modern equivalent is the print-ready computer file you submit on disk or via FTP. Although old school art boards were prepared with great care, a properly compiled print-ready InDesign folder is just as awe-inspiring, and a big step forward in terms of quality.

So, now that we've exposed these myths, what's left for you to count on with absolute certainty?

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. It's always a factor in our business. You can hedge your bets, though, by learning as much as possible about the print process and staying engaged with your vendor.

High quality makes up for a bumpy road to the product. Low quality does not, and neither does a low price. You shouldn't have to suffer in order to save money.

Difficult discussions are always harder after the fact. Speak up if you think something doesn't look or sound right. You have a right to expect straight talk from your vendor.

Having your project printed should be fun and exciting! Maybe not as fun as a visit from Santa or the Easter Bunny, but rewarding at the very least. That's been my philosophy for twenty five years, and I'm sticking to it!

Since my last post a few people expressed interest in a plant tour, and I'd like to see if we can get a group together for next Thursday, the 16th. Send me an email if you would like to participate.

Thanks for your visit, I hope the summer is going well for you all!

Hugh Butler
Your friend in the printing business